KEEPING OUR HEAD ABOVE WATER...

That is what we are trying to do at the Whitten house now a days. Let me start with the positive...Madison has really enjoyed being around Morgan & McKinley and they both think she is adorable. They all play well and the older girls do a wonderful job of helping out.  Most of the time, I would say 80% things are going great and Madison is laughing and playing and being such a sweet girl BUT the other 20% is REALLY bad.

Madison has been having these tantrums that last anywhere from 1-3 hours long. We never experienced this in China as Madison never once "lost" it on any level until four hours into the flight back to the states.  Not only does Madison thrash around and scream but we also never know what is going to bring them. We can tell when she is about to get upset and yesterday we were able to back her away from the cliff so to speak and she didnt have an episode until 3 am and that was after David sat with her for 3 hours in her room because she wouldn't sleep. Tonight it all started because I told her it was time to take a bath (which she always enjoys) and then for the next hour she was kicking, hitting, and screaming.  It is not pretty and to be completely honest emotionally draining. I know this is normal and many people say this can last from a few weeks to several months (by the way, we are hoping for the weeks!). Madison also HATES being strapped in a car seat (please pray about this because that is making life a wee bit hard right now with getting the girls from school, etc.).  In China, kids are never put in car seats and so for 4 years Madison has been able to stand, sit in laps, etc. so again, being buckled in is something new and strange.

I feel like I should share all of this for two reasons:1) because I said I wanted to be honest & authentic about this journey and 2) because I read hundreds of blogs while we were going through this process and 99 out of 100 only shared the happy, great, positive side and I really think it would have benfited me to read the "real" stuff that happens on a daily basis right after you return home. I realize that each child is different and my story will not be the same as everyone eles's but a lot of the struggles are the same based on people we've been talking to. Dont get me wrong, we have had some great moments with Madison and I love her to death.  She has a wonderful personality and really does fit well into our family but the reality for us right now is this  LIFE IS HARD. 

But sometimes God asks us to do hard things, and He will get us through these days I'm sure of it. But I also must be honest and say that when were are in the midst of the storm it feels pretty helpless & hopeless.  We also feel bad for Morgan and McKinley because they have to hear all the screaming and we worry about them too.  We all knew going in this would be hard but we don't want them to be scared or upset along the way.  So far they just say the crying gives them a headache but still, it must be hard on them too. 

In the days to come I will share some of what we have learned about Madison, the orphange she was in for two years, and the foster home she spent time in as well. We recently connected with another family online who adoped a 5 year old girl from the same foster family that Madison spent two years in and believe it or not, Madison and this other girl were actually in the same foster home, at the same time.  Imagine our surprize when we received a photo of their adopted daugther standing with her foster home family and seeing Madison in the picture!!!  This other little girl was 5 at the time and Madison looks about 2 which means the photo was taken shortly after Madison went to live with this family.  The mother of the other little girl has shared with us her experience, the similarties in our children's behavior, and the stories her daughter has shared about the home she and Madison spent time in. It truly is a small world and such a God thing that our paths would cross. 

Until then just pray for us.  Bonding, the language barrier, a decrease in the tantrums and how violent they can be, and for Morgan and McKinley as they process things as well.  Tomorrow my parents are also leaving to go back to Alabama so pray for safe travels for them (I have tried to guilt them into staying longer but for some reason my mother thinks she needs to get back to work:) Madison has really taking a liking to them as well and today wanted one of them to hold her often. I think she will be sad to see them leave tomorrow.

You can also pray for mine and David's walk with God because we surely need His strength, wisdom, and patience on this journey.  Thank you so much!

Melissa