Today we had our 1month post adoption meeting with our social worker. I think it went very well. She thought Madison was adjusting really well. Although Madison would not talk to her or even hardly look at her. I wished I knew what she was thinking. I never seem to know how she is going to react to a situation. Some times she is very friendly & speaks to people & other times she is very fearful.
I got a call yesterday from my dad, saying that my 91 yr old grandmother was being put back in the hospital with phenomena. Apparently, she had been in ICU last week for 4 days & No one told me:)
My dad thought my sister had called me & my sister thought my dad had called me..ANYWAY, she is not doing well and I am really struggling with what I should do. I feel like it will set Madison back if I leave & fly to Alabama for a few days... However, I also feel that If I take her with me on the airplane she will think that I am taking her back to China and have another meltdown.. I have great anxiety about getting on another plane with her, The last plane trip was so horrific I just cannot explain it with words.So for now I am waiting it out. I talked with my granny this morning & she sounded OK. I know that she really wants to meet Madison, so If you will please pray for my granny I would be so grateful. Also, that I would have a peace about what I should do.
In closing, I have attached a link from Jen Hatmakers blog ( I love her) it's titled " after the airport"
Everything she says is spot on what we are experiencing with Madison. She does have so much fear still & that fear comes out In different ways,in different situations. SO instead of trying to explain it to you myself, I thought I would put her link up. She is a writer & OBVIOUSLY, I am NOT! But I must say, I love to use exclamation marks, and I am forever writing run-on sentences...there I said it!!
So I apologize to all the teacher's out there that may be reading this:)Ok , I am not really sure where I was going with all that, So I will shut up now so you can click on her link. It is worth your time to read it.
Blessing-
Melissa
http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/09/06/after-the-airport
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ReplyDeleteAMEN Jen Hatmaker! My favorite line she wrote, "You cannot just be into adoption to adopt; you have to be into parenting." These broken little souls enter our lives and we can tell them, "Welcome to your new family. You will be loved unconditionally, forever more. You will be kept safe from harm. You will learn about Jesus and a God who loves you...." I'm pretty sure (regardless of their spoken language) what they hear is more like "Blah, blah, blah...." These concepts are as foreign to them as their lives of abandonment, abuse and neglect are to us. I agree completely Melissa, this link is worth the time to read to gain an understanding of adoption. But yes just like Jen Hatmaker I will continue to smile and nod politely when someone asks me if it is great and wonderful because it is - but it sure isn't easy.
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