When we first got there, David was holding her & they both got in. She was fine but after about 2 minutes she wanted out & looked scared. She sat down on a chair & wouldn't smile at us or anything. I finally got her to come sit in my lap and for the next hour that's what she did...just sat in my lap without smiling or talking. I don't know if the pool brought back a bad memory for her or what, but her whole disposition changed. This is where I struggle--not knowing what's going on in that little head of hers! I don't know if something's going to remind her of a bad memory & make her scared or if the pool experience was all new to her. When our guide asked her if she had ever been to a pool before Madison responded "yes," so we are not sure why she withdrew like she did.
We did, however, have a sweet moment in the van today. On the way to the zoo she was sitting in my lap (which she does often), but she finally laid her head on my shoulder for about 10 minutes...she hasn't done that before! We can tell she is starting to "hold" us in a different way. On Monday when we would hold her, her legs would be straight down and limp while her arms would be straight, pushing against me--almost like she was afraid to be get too close. I would have to put her legs around me or put her arms around my neck, but today she is starting to doing it all on her own...that's progress!
We are back in the room now letting Madison watch a show on the iPhone. We cut back quite a bit on tv time and letting her play games and watch movies on the phone, and we also moved all the toys and stuff to the closet to keep them out of sight. We think we might have over stimulated her at first with several new toys, shows on the iPhone and then having the TV on trying to find something for us to watch on occasion. We think cutting back has certainly helped a lot in keeping her calm.
Madison really hasn't had another one of those moments like the other day, because when we see it coming on we firmly tell her no (usually several times) and it gets her attention. David's voice gets her attention more so than mine, so I do need to get a bit firmer. It's just so hard and almost makes me feel guilty. I'll get better though---please pray that I do! I told David that he is going to need to be at home more, especially at first as we establish new boundaries with her at home.
Tomorrow is a day all to ourselves, as we do not have any appointments or scheduled activities. That means no guide, no translator, and a full day to handle Madison all by ourselves! Please pray for us and for Madison and that God will bless us with a great day. We just try to break the day down hour-by-hour and "eat the elephant one bite at a time" as David says. I don't know where he gets all that kind of stuff, but hey, at least it's a plan!
Right now we are doing our best to establish a routine & try to teach her what it means to be a part of a family. It's a work in progress, but I guess we all are in some way or another.
- Pray for our full day all alone with Madison tomorrow!
- Continued prayer for the language barrier. She is very good at repeating what we say, but she doesn't really know what she is saying. So pray that she will start to remember & understand the English words we are trying to teach her, like "potty."
- That we would all sleep well & continue to stay healthy!