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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

BROKEN

That is the word that keeps coming to my mind as I  think about David & I over these past 10 days. So I decided to look up the definition (disclaimer: me looking up something in the dictionary will probably NEVER happen again).  BROKEN : violently separated into parts :damaged or altered by breaking: having undergone or been subjected to fracture : being irregular, interrupted, or full of obstacles *disrupted by change :made weak or infirm.

Broken- It is such a negative word and trust me when I say, if you are in the process of being broken IT IS NOT FUN, but when you come out on the other side closer to God and you start to see the beauty from the ashes  you realize that maybe, just maybe it wasn't so bad. The Lord is teaching us so many things about Himself through this adoption, things that I could have never learned if not from going through this myself. I know David shared this on Sunday but for those of you who don't go to our church I will say it again, How many times do we throw tantrums  kick, scream & hit at God  when He asks us  to do something? He loves us and wants to give us this amazing life but we push Him away Just like Madison is screaming & pushing us away when all we want to do is love her & hold her, We just want to give her a future that she would have never gotten in China. But she misses her old life, even as bad as it was. We too, act this way with God & would rather stay in the "pit" of our old life, when all He wants to do is give us a hope & a future, If we will just stop pushing Him away. Now in my head I have known this concept for a while but man oh man, now I have a vivid, visual picture of this that will forever be ingrained in my mind. If not for the brokenness, I wouldn't be able to grasp this like I have.


Please don't get me wrong, I haven't figured it all out & I have certainly NOT handled these past 10 days with grace & dignity like God would have wanted. I have cried plenty "ugly" tears. But yesterday I felt all the burden, stress, clouds, even the brokenness I have been feeling being lifted off of me. When David got home yesterday I looked at him and said " we CAN do this" up until about noon yesterday I wasn't so sure about that. The Lord is hearing your prayers & mine and He is giving me these little glimpses of hope throughout my day that Ive been praying for. So thank you all again, for the prayers. Our heavenly father is answering!

 Look at that beautiful smile :)



Here is the chart that we have been using to help communicate things we want her to do & she gets to put a sticker on it after she completes the task.



In closing...
Laura Story sings this song that I have loved for a while but when I heard it this morning while taking the girls to school It spoke to me in a whole new way. I will leave you with the lyrics.
Have a blessed Tuesday!
Melissa

BLESSING:

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
comfort for family, protection while we sleep
we pray for healing, for prosperity
we pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

all the while You hear each spoken need
yet love us way to much to give us lesser things

'cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
what if Your healing comes through tears?
what if a thousand sleepless nights
are what it takes to know you're near?

what if trails of this life
are Your blessings in disguise?

we pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
we doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
as if every promise from Your Word is not enough

and all the while You hear each desperate plea
and long that we'd have faith to believe

'cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
what if Your healing comes through tears?
and what if a thousand sleepless nights
are what it takes to know you're near?

and what if the trails of this life
are Your blessings in disguise?

1 comment:

  1. Melissa - That's beautiful. God uses the difficult times to draw us closer to Him and to refine us into His image. Thank you for being transparent through this tough time and not "sugar coating" it. I love you and will continue to pray for you and your family. BTW - All the girls are just gorgeous.

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